Perspective: No, no, Glen Coco: what not to do on a college campus, tattoos, piercings

[Columns, letters or cartoons published are the work of the attributed author and do not necessarily represent the official views or opinions of “The Highland Echo.”]

Apparently, we have less than a month…less than one month until life, as we know it, ends. I don’t if that is the reason for all these people around campus making drastic changes to their bodies and styles and personalities, but whatever is causing this has got to end. If the world really does go up in flames or a meteor strikes us, you do not want your life to be memorialized this way. This is why my next two columns will be dedicated to advising you against all of these atrocious life changes springing up: physically and emotionally. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about life change.

And, sure, this is a perfect place to reinvent oneself, but there are boundaries. If we are thinking long-term here, college is much more about preparing oneself to enter the professional field than frolicking in a random one for a couple of years. I hate to break it to you, but drastically altering your hairstyle, obtaining mysterious piercings or acquiring unfashionable tattoos is not going to increase your chances of making it big in the job market. Think about it. How many successful and accomplished adults do you see on a daily basis with death marks tattooed up their forearms or six piercings in each ear?

I’m not saying I don’t like the fashion trend. Truthfully, I would kill to be able to pull off a nose stud, but it just isn’t practical. But, I’m pretty sure a half-bald, half-dreadlocked presidential candidate would stir up more controversy than Obama’s reelection did on the fourth floor of Copeland. There are other reasons why these fashion trends are unacceptable later on in life. Just as you are deciding to make a life change now, your bodies will decide to make a life change in about 10 years, as well.

Ladies, frankly, most of your bodies will not recover from pregnancy, so please take a moment to imagine how your cute little belly button ring will look with stretch marks extending from it in all directions. Or how about the quotation you want etched down the side of your ribcage? If you have to have an emergency C-section, will those immortal words have the same effect when stitches sew them haphazardly back together?

And, gentlemen, when your wives have those children, you won’t have time to make it to the gym or play a pick-up game of ball. So, when you shed away your glorious and toned muscles, how will the eagle across your back look with wings limp? So, I leave you with this, lads and lassies: think twice about what life changes you want to make.

In 15 years, you can’t say to your body, “It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed,” or wrinkled. I gave you fair warning, so it will be your fault. With that being said, go out! Experiment with yourselves! Just know that your experiment has long-lasting effects, and everyone else in your life is experiencing those with you.