This Much I Know Is True: Saying goodbye

Halle Hill is a Student at Maryville college who writes about her journey and experience with religion. Photo by Tobi Scott.
Halle Hill is a Student at Maryville college who writes about her journey and experience with religion. Photo by Tobi Scott.

In less than a week I will be done with my undergrad classes, forever. I thought I would be more excited, but actually I’m kind of sad. I’m doing everything I can to avoid thinking about actually graduating, but ultimately, I can’t slow it down.

I’ve been trying to distract myself by running errands. Last week I went to target to find some graduation shoes and pick up some toiletries. I think I go to the Maryville Target at least twice a week and have been for the past 4 years, but my trip last week felt entirely different.

I kind of panicked when I realized Savannah will have many targets with totally different layouts. Will I be able to quickly locate the dove body wash? Where will the accessories be? Can I find the same gel pens and candles I’ve depended on my trusted local Target to provide?

I ended up walking around the store for a whole hour thinking about all the time and paychecks I’ve spent there, and it made me really, really sad. Maryvillle is a special little city. I’ll miss the Target, of course, and the super Kroger.

I’ll miss Los Amigos and Barley’s downtown. I’ll miss running on the greenway and going for walks around the campus loop. I’ll miss my cozy Carnegie room. I’ll miss the TJMAXX in the mall, and I’ll miss the public library.

I’ll miss all the things I’ve become so familiar with. But it does feel like it’s time to move on, and I’m ready to see what waits in front of me. I’m just scared to find new things in places that will become my new familiars.

It takes time. I don’t know the flow of the roads in the Savannah, I don’t know the closest grocery store to my apartment, I don’t even know where all my classes will be!

I didn’t know where anything was my freshman year, but I found my way. And I will find my way again. I wonder what will wait for me and how I will change as a graduate student.

Where will my favorite places to eat be? Where will I hang out with my new friends? How will It feel to be seven hours away from my family and friends? I will be brave though, and do it all again, and find my way and a new favorite target.

It’s crazy to think I am graduating so soon. But I’m ready to do it. I am ready to walk across the stage and toss my cap in the air, celebrate with family and friends and cry a little. Most of all though, I’m ready to see what awaits me next. Here’s to the next great adventure!

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