You know what sucks?: Thaw mountain

Josh Anderson discusses the struggle of climbing the steps of Thaw Hall in his column this week. Photo courtesy of Ariana Hansen.
Josh Anderson discusses the struggle of climbing the steps of Thaw Hall in his column this week. Photo courtesy of Ariana Hansen.

    There are a few things in our world that suck. You know what is not one of them?  Walking up thaw steps. I love walking up this behemoth staircase daily because I never feel guilty about having that extra slice of pizza later that evening at dinner.

    If you have a class in Thaw Hall, you probably know what I am talking about, and you also probably know that I am being very facetious. If you have a class in Thaw you also probably have some pretty defined quadriceps, hamstrings and calves to prove it.

    However, there was a time that I did not understand the difficulty of walking up these steps. Once I heard someone use the insult: “Go fall down Thaw’s steps!”  I did not understand the humor in the joke until I had to perform this feat.

    If you do not understand what the fuss is about, either go walk up them yourself or continue reading.  Just make sure you avoid doing leg day in the gym if you plan to hike “Thaw Mountain.”

    First you have to walk up a small flight of steps just to get into the building after your walk across campus. Then you choose which side you plan to walk up.  Both sides are equal in the amount of steps and thus equally hard, but I recommend you choose wisely.

    If there are multiple idiots walking up the side you are walking on, your chances of tripping over someone else and plummeting to your death are greatly increased. It is very possible to fall off the stairwell because of the short handrails. And if you are 5’ 9” or taller, forget about holding onto the handrails unless you plan to hunch over to use them.

    Halfway up there is a platform obviously placed there by the architect so that students and professors can rest.  Think of this area as a rest stop that you would find on a hike.

     Not to mention, by this point you have reached a different altitude and are experiencing a change in air quality. Be sure to take this break so your body can accustom itself to thinner air. It would be quite a shame to pass out on the final steps.

    Finally you reach the top where you find a water fountain and can rehydrate. You have lost a lot of water at this point, so make sure you take advantage of it.  It’s finally over right? You have finally reached your destination.

    You walk in your classroom and guess what? Yup. You got it. More steps.  If your class takes place in room 216 you have to climb steps just to sit down due to its auditorium style seating. That is a combined total of 48 steps just to go to class.

After I have done this, I feel as if I have just done an hour of cardio on the Step Master 3000. So there you have it. If you seem to struggle with committing to exercise, drop your current major and major in sociology so you are forced to walk up these steps several times a week. You are sure to drop a couple of pant sizes in a semester.

 

Columnist, Intramural Coordinator, and Resident Director Josh Anderson summits ‘Thaw mountain’. Photo courtesy of Ariana Hansen.
Columnist, Intramural Coordinator, and Resident Director Josh Anderson summits ‘Thaw mountain’. Photo courtesy of Ariana Hansen.

One thought on “You know what sucks?: Thaw mountain

  • November 11, 2015 at 8:26 am
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    Remember: There is a shorter stairwell near the handicap accessible ramp via the parking lot side. it is about 8-12 steps and leads directly to the first floor and elevator. Think of it as a ski lift?

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