Late night sex talk: Music

This is an age-old, well-known fact: sex and music are meant to be combined. They go together like cookies and milk, like naps and rainy days, like being drunk and dancing. They were made for each other.

When I was dating my first girlfriend, we put music on every time we made out. It was great, and it made for some wonderful memories. “Revolution 1” will forever remind me of the first time I saw a girl naked. And if that’s not the best thing you have ever heard, then I don’t know what is.

Now that both my taste in music and in girls has matured a little, I like music and sex even better. And I want to share with you my top ten albums to get down to. In other words, some beautiful music that makes for a really, really nice time.

1. “channel ORANGE” by Frank Ocean. This, to me, is the Classic Sex Album. There are a few albums that my girlfriend and I played on repeat when we first started having sex, and this CD made many appearances. None of these songs are mood-killers, and Frank Ocean’s voice is like sexy, sexy butter or something. Sexiest songs: “Pyramids” and “Sierra Leone.”

2. “Bring Me Your Love” by City and Colour. Are you someone who likes listening to songs performed by a single bearded white dude playing the guitar and harmonica simultaneously? Do you love sappy, beautifully written love songs? This album is for you. Sexiest songs: “Sensible Heart” and “As Much As I Ever Could.”

3. “For Lovers, Dreamers & Me” by Alice Smith. Her voice is soulful and deep and basically oozes sex appeal. Sexiest songs: “Dream” and “Do I.”

4. “Bloom” by Beach House. Very good album to listen to if you want to finish having sex and then cry heavily onto your partner’s face because you are just feeling way too many things. Sexiest songs: “Myth” and “On the Sea.”

5. “Yeezus” by Kanye West. See, this album is perfect if you are skilled at blocking out words and simply listening to the beat while you are getting down. This album has its share of not-sexy-at-all political tracks, but as background music, every single song is bedroom material. I promise. Sexiest songs: “Bound 2” and “I’m In It.”

6. “Hospice” by The Antlers. Most of the tracks on this album are slow and quiet; I usually play this when I am in the mood to have really romantic, intimate sex. Sexiest songs: “Shiva” and “Wake.”

7. “At Last!” by Etta James. I am not going to lie to you, there have been a few sex sessions in my relationship that have started out by me singing Etta James. It has mystic powers. This album in particular has some seriously classic love songs on it, and you can never go wrong with that. Sexiest songs: “A Sunday Kind of Love” and “Spoonful.”

8. “Bon Iver” by Bon Iver. Do I need to say anything else? Sexiest songs: “Holocene and Perth.”

9. “Homogenic” by Bjork. This CD is really good to make love to if you are like me and my girlfriend, namely, queer feminists. Sexiest songs: “Unravel” and “All is Full of Love.”

10. “Beyonce” by Beyonce. I cannot coherently talk about this album, but I will say that it will make you want to become a professional sex goddess and crawl across the bed like a man-eating tigress. Or maybe that’s just me. Sexiest songs: “Rocket” and “Partition.”

I have had the pleasure of being pleasured to all of these albums, and let me tell you, it’s fabulous. Just pressing play on an iTunes album is the easiest way to set the mood, whatever mood you are aiming for.
Personally, I use music to make both myself and my girlfriend feel more deeply during sex. That sounds corny, I know, but I’m corny. I am just really in love right now, like the kind that only your significant other would want to hear about, and when I play music, no matter what genre, the emotions I feel during sex just become so much more lovely and intense. And who wouldn’t want that?