What your Halloween costume should be based on your zodiac sign
Miss Fortune is a junior English major at Maryville College. Since boarding the wrong flight to McGee Tyson Airport in an attempt to go to Transylvania and instead wandering the Maryville College Woods for shelter, she enrolled and has lived in the basement of Willard House ever since. Her interest in astrology came from a Vienna barista’s accidental quintuple shot in her trademark dirty chai with oat milk. After one sip, she was able to speak to the campus squirrels. They taught her everything they knew about the universe and the stars. Some say that if you leave her a Pearson’s oatmeal raisin cookie in front of the English Department offices in Anderson Hall, you will receive better grades on your essays.
Thunder crashes, cat shrieks, and haunted mansions are on the horizon. Halloween is rapidly approaching and Miss Fortune is here to help guide you to your best costume. In between slamming so many pumpkin spice lattes that your vision becomes clouded by chai spice, it is easy to forget that you need to plan your costume. With my advice, you will be the belle of the monster mash.
Aries: Moody, brooding, and sparkly in the sunshine is something uniquely Aries. Vampire is the obvious choice for all Aries this season. Whether you decide to be Edward Cullen or Dracula, you will dazzle those around you. Go buy a bottle of fake blood, some fangs that dig into your gums, and enough highlighter to blind a moth to prove your mysteriousness and edginess to all of your ghoul-friends.
Taurus: Taurus, you deserve a nap after dealing with everything that September threw at you. Cats have achieved legendary status at the nap Olympics and the black cat is one of the most iconic Halloween costumes. It does not matter whether you want to wear a cat onesie and leave the party after an hour so you can go to sleep, or serve Karen from “Mean Girls” realness. Your litter will think you are infinitely iconic either way.
Gemini: The “she was a fairy” sound from TikTok has plagued my mind for a few months now, and I have noticed that the only other people who still find it funny are Geminis. Lean into your whimsical nature and be the garden fairy you always wanted to be as a child. Not only will you serve looks, but your pixie friends will be quoting it at you all night.
Cancer: Going to a huge party and being perceived by strangers can be hard for Cancers. Do not fret, Miss Fortune has the perfect solution for you: Mummy! Steal all of your roommate’s toilet paper and maybe her gold eyeshadow if you are feeling brave, and completely cocoon yourself. This costume will forever be a Halloween staple and your undead pals will be so glad that you showed up.
Leo: Leo, I know you want to go all out and you are reading this and thinking, “I hope she does not give me something lame.” You need something immediately recognizable in which you can show off your creativity. Zombies are the perfect idea for a Leo. The sky’s the limit for this costume. Also, nobody can commit to acting like a zombie for hours on end like a Leo can.
Virgo: Superheroes never go out of style. Regardless of whether you simply wear a t-shirt with a symbol on it or end up powdering your thighs so the bagged costume from Spirit Halloween does not chafe you, you will look marvelous. Virgos are logical and tend to not go for “silly” traditions like Halloween, but you can wear the same superhero costume every year! It is a smart financial decision. Nobody will notice, except for your closest Leo friend.
Libra: You are royalty! This Halloween, really emphasizes that you know your worth. You can be a fictional princess, a historical monarch, or a generic prince. No matter what you choose, your subjects will bow in your presence. Libras are notoriously good at capturing the attention of any room they walk into. We all know that you were looking for an excuse to buy a tiara, it’s okay, we will not judge you.
Scorpio: Scorpio, let’s hope it’s not a full moon on Halloween. Unleash your inner werewolf! Ripping up a flannel will provide some much-needed therapy for you. Remember that makeup can produce that “just rolled around in the dirt look” so that you are not embarrassing yourself on Pearson’s lawn. YikYak is unforgiving, be very mindful and demure about this costume, dear Scorpio.
Sagittarius: It’s time to send your mateys walking down the plank this Halloween. Pirates are one of the most underrated Halloween costumes. Leave it to a Sagittarius to challenge their friends to a sword fight. Stand out from the crowd with your gaudy gold hoops and eyepatch. Remember to eat a couple of oranges to prevent scurvy. It happened to an old buddy of mine.
Capricorn: Capricorns cast a spell on everyone they talk to. Being a witch or sorcerer is just an average Tuesday for you. Grab a wand and a cloak to maximize your Capricorn energy. Remember to be safe with your potion consumption this Halloweekend, there is no telling what you could turn into.
Aquarius: Boo! The wallflowers, the Irish goodbye pros, the Aquarians. A Goodwill white sheet with two eye holes cut out is the ideal costume for any Aquarius I know. Find your Cancer friend and truly enjoy your time surrounded by others. Maybe even try to stay at the party for more than an hour. You will have fun, I promise.
Pisces: Pisces are the true rulers of the sea. Being a mermaid or merman just makes sense for you. It is time to dive deep into your wardrobe to cultivate your best look from under the sea. Try not to sing to your Sagittarius friends, or something crazy might happen. Pro-tip: Fishnets help create a perfect makeup scale look.