Ask Garrett for Oct. 23, 2013

Dear Garrett,

I was really excited about starting college and leaving home. I am from outside of the state, and I am multiple hours away from my family. I thought that I would enjoy this, and I was excited about having some independence. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy getting to do what I want to do when I want to do it, but I have been finding myself missing my family. I did not think I would have this problem, and I am not sure how to deal with it. I don’t have the free time to drive hours home and then hours back to the college, so what should I do?

Sincerely,
Homesick Freshman

Dear Homesick Freshman,

Most of us had to deal with this problem at some point, and I would be willing to bet that you are definitely not alone among your fellow freshman students. It’s normal to miss your family. After all, you basically grew up with them your entire life. You are used to having them nearby, and having them several hours away should cause you to feel some kind of longing for home.

Luckily, we live in a world with amazing technology. Programs, such as FaceTime and Skype, make it easy to see and speak with your loved ones from long distances. I would suggest taking advantage of these opportunities to communicate with your family. While it still cannot replace speaking with them physically present and getting to hug them, I promise that it will help with that longing to see and speak with your parents.

Setting up regular conversations with your family via these communication resources should help keep your homesickness to a minimum in between breaks where you will get the chance to go home. If it doesn’t help though, focus on your classes, making new friends and starting a life here at the college. Getting involved on campus is a great way to settle in here on campus, and those organizations can, in a way, become your family. If you are involved, you will have less time to think about how much you miss home, so go out and get involved in some of the awesome clubs we have on campus.

Sincerely,
Garrett

Dear Garrett,

I was recently cheated on by my boyfriend. I will spare you the details of everything, but I ended up breaking up with him. After all, he clearly never loved me if he cheated on me, which he admitted to. It hurt to break up with him, but I just had to stand up for myself. However, it has been a couple of week and he now wants to get back together. He has apologized multiple times, and he keeps emphasizing that he admitted to cheating on me, like that should make it better. I have been having thoughts about considering taking him back because I did love him, but I just have no clue what to do. What do you think? Should I take him back even though he basically broke the most important rule in a committed relationship?

Sincerely,
Betrayed and Heartbroken

Dear Betrayed and Heartbroken,

A break-up is truly one of the most difficult experiences to deal with, and being cheated on makes healing from a break-up much more difficult. In my opinion, cheaters do not deserve a second chance. If he cheated, it shows that he did not value you in the first place. He cheated once, which shows he is capable of it, and that means that he could do it all over again. I believe that you need to reflect on the relationship.

Was it rewarding for you? Did you get something from the relationship? Were your feelings for him true? If you realize that you were not getting what you gave from the relationship, then I would definitely suggest ignoring his wishes to get back together.

However, it is difficult for me to tell you to do this. After all, I do not know how you felt about this guy. In the end, the best advice I can give you is to follow your heart. Yes, I am completely aware that sounds terribly cliché, but it’s the truth. If you feel like you want to give him a second chance because you miss your relationship and may still love him, then go for it. Though, go in to it knowing that he could cheat again, and be prepared for the possibility of being heartbroken again. If you feel as though the risks are worth it, then I think that you should accept his apologies and let him back into your life. If you do not want to risk it, then just say no and move on with your life. You will find someone better who will hopefully respect you more than he did.

Good luck with deciphering the matters of your heart, and just remember that no one deserves to be cheated on. Keep that in mind as you make your choice.

Sincerely,
Garrett

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