Finals Week Horoscope
Miss Fortune is a sophomore English major at Maryville College. Since boarding the wrong flight to McGee Tyson Airport in an attempt to go to Transylvania and instead wandering the Maryville College Woods for shelter, she enrolled and has lived in the basement of Willard House ever since. Her interest in astrology came from a Vienna barista’s accidental quintuple shot in her trademark dirty chai with oat milk. After one sip, she was able to speak to the campus squirrels. They taught her everything they knew about the universe and the stars. Some say that if you leave her a Pearson’s oatmeal raisin cookie in front of the English Department offices in Anderson Hall, you will receive better grades on your essays.
Finals week is fast approaching. Preparing for massive tests is a challenging feat for everyone. While astrology and horoscopes are fun, remember to care for yourself this week. Studying while tired, hungry, stressed or burnt out will not lead to high-achieving test scores.
If you need help with any of these things, contact Noah Bowman in the Academic Success Center for time management and study resources, or schedule a free counseling session located on the third floor of Bartlett to combat stress.
Now, on the astrology side of things, this week will begin tough. The first quarter moon will bring sharp minds, drive, ambition and good fortune. But it will also bring callousness and short temper. Being calm and collected is key to general success. Good luck this week. Miss Fortune is manifesting divine success for those who earn it. ABM. MKO.
Aries: According to the stars, Aries needs to focus on love this week. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend disregarding your academic duties to take your class crush to Vienna, but it may be important to find time for people you love this week. The key to crushing your finals may rest in your free time. Clearing your mind with loved ones is always beneficial — unless they persuade you to skip studying; in that case, they might not be the best company for this week.
Taurus: I wish that I could hug every Taurus this week. Deeply buried emotions will come to the surface and seep their way into everything you do. Make sure that you allow yourself to feel these emotions so that they do not continue to plague you. Guilt has the chance to ruin your week; remember that we are all humans who make mistakes. It is okay to let things go. I believe in you.
Gemini: Your friends and family need you this week, Gemini. You will have increased empathy that could benefit everyone who is struggling with finals. Make sure that you continue to focus on yourself. Try bringing your friends along to yoga with Lauren Huffstetler (which takes place every morning at 8 a.m. at the Crawford House yoga deck). You deserve some peace and your friends need that energy to rub off on them as well.
Cancer: Your drive and passion are on fire right now. Cancers are typically very patient people, so harness this newfound ambition, alongside your steadfastness, to study hard this week. Your energy could even inspire your friends to try even harder. Forming a study group may be extremely beneficial to you right now.
Leo: The recent eclipse has a lasting effect on Leos. Your energy will be at an all-time high. Use this to study hard. You may even have left over energy afterwards. All relationships will thrive in this time period. You are going to dominate this week; keep going.
Virgo: Your “third eye” is begging to open. Virgo’s insight and intuition is thriving this week. Do not forget to be playful and silly throughout finals. Virgos are quick to lose themselves in their studies. Be sure to make time to do what makes you happy.
Libra: It is the season of winning for you, Libra. The ambitious holdover from the eclipse is bringing you good luck and drive to complete tasks. Attend TRIO’s game night to prove your winning streak. Let yourself feel like a winner. People around you may make you feel less than; do not let it get to you. You deserve to be proud of yourself. If you need to hear it, I am proud of you, dear Libra. You have fought hard to get where you are, and everyone sees it.
Scorpio: “Release your inhibitions,” as Natasha Bedingfield would say. Scorpios are known for their drive and sheer power. Channel any feelings you have about your past to foster a better future for yourself. Pour your anger, guilt or resentment into an art project, or book the Rage Room in Maryville — whichever is your cup of tea.
Sagittarius: Right now may be a weird time to navigate. You may feel some kind of mix of self-confidence and relaxation. They can both exist at the same time. Use your pride to study and master your final projects, but also remember that relaxing does not make you lazy. Everyone needs to take a break, even the constant Sagittarius.
Capricorn: Concentration and perfectionism will be your forte this week. You will have ease finding small mistakes and striving to erase any small mistakes in your work. Study hard this week, since you will most likely not find it too difficult. People may even ask you to proofread their final essays for Dr. Phillips. Good luck with that.
Aquarius: It is time to set ambitious goals, Aquarius. You hold lots of power and influence this week. Everyone seems to notice you when you walk into your 8 a.m. looking amazing. Let this feeling seep deeply into your psyche. Aquarians tend to struggle with self worth, but look at everyone around you. They admire and love you. You are doing more than enough.
Pisces: You can succeed at almost anything, Pisces. Your work ethic is unmatched this week. Keep going. All of this will pay off in your grades, work life, personal relationships and more. Right now is a good time to get solid work done on a hard project. Even though it seems like the work never ends, the semester is almost over. Slow and steady wins the race; remember that this week.